Shann

Ok, so it’s taking me approx 6 and a half months to get my mind to where it should be regarding this weight loss. I was kidding myself for the longest time thinking I could have my cheat meal on a certain day which of course usually ended up being a whole cheat DAY instead of MEAL. I would sabotoge all me week’s hard effort just through that one day.

So far I have lost 4 lbs this week. No eating at night, no junk foods. NOW the test will be this weekend. It’s our son’s 4th birthday, so obviously there’s going to be cake and ice-cream. I’m already planning ahead. I will have one small slice of cake and… now don’t laugh, but will eat it with my left hand (I’m right handed), this way I will eat it slower and savoir it more…HEY, I’m pulling all the tricks out of the hat to get this weight off. My goal is for mid December. I know it can be done because I have some buddies on here who lost it in this year already.

It’s taken me a long time to get my thinking in order, just like smoking I suppose. When one is ready then it will be done.

Thank-you to all who commented on my previous blog. My Dad is doing well, my daughter is fine, all that really matters when it comes down to it, my family is healthy. I still can’t get the recent blogs, so I just look up buddies and try to respo nd or say Hi…have a wonderful weekend all, stay true to yourselves!

This has been an exhausting and emotional week for myself and my family. First my Dad had to be put into the hospital for a pace maker last Saturday. Finally he got it in yesterday. Had to wait all that time in the hospital because the doctors did surgeries on more critical patients first. My poor Dad couldn’t eat every day til 7 at night in case they could fit him in for surgery. So he is home now, tired but in good spirits. The pace maker is good for 10 years then it needs to be replaced. He was awake during the procedure, said it only took around 30 minutes. Now it’s just mending time. He can’t do anything strenuous or use his left arm for 6 weeks. Thank goodness it all went well. My Mom was a nervous wreck all week. She stayed with her sister so the company was good for her instead of being home alone.

Now my other stressful event. On Tuesday evening the kids were in the living room after dinner. Ty was on the couch watching tv and Lexi was on the loveseat also watching tv. I go into the kitchen and heard a thump and heard Lexi crying. I run into the living room and couldn’t find her. I thought she fell behind the loveseat which is virtually impossible because it’s against the living room window. She fell out the window through the screen. I looked out and saw her on her bum, raced outside and got her, screaming Oh my God the whole way. Alex was in the bathroom and was out by the time I screamed when I first saw her. Brought her in the house and layed her on the floor to asess her. Alex has first aid. She looked to ok but he took her to the doctor anyway.  She is fine, only a scrape on her big toe and a little bruise on her chest. The fall was around 7 feet and on the concrete walkway. Our neighbor saw her fall and said the screen cushined her because it kind of fell half on the side of the house so it acted like a slide.

I of course have not forgiven myself for being so careless and not even thinking of the screen. We had our cat bed/post in front of the window and she likes to sit in it. Of course the window is always closed when she does it. The cat post is short but even with the window sill.  Please learn from my mistake, every year I hear children falling out of windows and now it’s happened to my child. The doctor and even Alex said if the fall is over 10 feet it is usually more serious but still any fall is dangerous. My little peanut is a tough cookie. I on the other hand am not. I can’t forgive myself for this, I put my child in danger without even knowing it. I honestly never even thought of the screen. I’m always careful and watching my kids with other things, like the deck outside, the stairs, in the kitchen, bathroom, everywhere, but I let this one thing not even enter my mind. I keep going “what if” and crying. So please be careful, it only takes a second and those precious children can be harmed from something that could have been prevented.

As for my weight. Everyday I start anew and every night I let the stress get to me and eat. One day I will take control. Until then I just have to go day by day. Hug your loved ones today, and smile at a stranger, it will make their day!

Hi all. Got a message on our answering machine today from my Mom. As soon as I heard her voice I knew there was something wrong. My Dad had to wear a heart monitor halter for 24 hours and got the results back. He immediately had to go to the hospital. So now he has to have a pace maker put in. I don’t know much about them except of course it will regulate his heartbeats. He’ll have the operation Monday or Tuesday.  I know this will make him feel better but I’m so worried. My Dad is everything to me.

This whole evening I have been thinking of what a great and loving Dad he is. I was thinking of all the good qualities he has and one hit me so hard. Never once have I heard or seen my Dad feel sorry for himself. He has endured so much heartache from losing loved ones, pain in his back from an accident, seeing things that a person should never have to see (he saved a man from a burning vehicle when I was in my early 20’s)…but never once have I heard him complain of anything regarding himself.

My Dad was always the one who talked to me about life’s challenges and would hug me and tell me all would be better in the morning. Two years ago  he had to put my horse down because she broke her back, he offered to give me his horse. When I lived on my own in my late teen’s and early 20’s, he would slip some money in my hand as we hugged after he and my Mom visited. He was there in the hospital room right after our son was born, which suprised me because the doctor was still working on cleaning me up. Dad just averted his eyes and bee-lined on to his grandson.  Ty our son is my Dad’s best little buddy. He calls my Dad “his man.” I watch them together and they’re two peas in a pod. On the tractor together, going out to the shop to find the chocolate bar stash, or just hanging out.

I wish I was that little girl again…memories of dancing while standing on his feet, going for rides on crisp fall days, feeling the tug on my fishing pole thinking it’s a fish and then seeing my Dad’s smile knowing he was the one who tugged the line, having running races and him making the silliest faces at me where I would laugh so hard I couldn’t run anymore. Oh hell I still can do all that with him, maybe not stand on his feet and dance though. 

I know I’ve rambled on, but my Dad is my hero, my angel, the first man I have ever loved and who set the bar high in my eyes for a man to match him. Which I found in Alex. Amazing how some women find men like their fathers. Both are kind, patient, caring, honest and hardworking men who always put their family first and foremost.

So I pray he’ll be ok, he’s 66 and in great shape besides the heart being off kilter. Thanks for reading this, needed to get some of the inner stress out and this helps so much. Wishing you all a wonderful Sunday full of love and laughter!